Thursday, October 18, 2007

I Guess The Wait Wasn't That Long

Last night I asked Scott if he wanted to go for a walk. I’ve been motivated, really motivated, to start losing weight…at least to work out. I am going to get back into my pre-pregnancy clothes! It wasn’t dark yet, so we rushed out the door and drove down to a neighborhood with walking trails. We ended up walking 4 miles with 5 kids. Talk about PAINFUL. Madison was the only one who didn’t complain. She was content to be pushed around in the stroller. The rest of the kids wanted to be carried.

Actually, Dwight didn’t complain, and he actually carried Kelly for a bit. I guess Patrick didn’t either, but he kept lagging and asked annoying questions like, “Why are we going this way? Why aren’t we going back to the car?”

While we were walking, I could smell someone grilling. Mmmmmm. What I’d give for a nice juicy burger. It smelled so good! But we were going home and I was going to cook up some salmon. I’ve GOT to lose some weight!

A mile later, I could smell dryer sheets. Only it smelled like 100 dryer sheets. I love the smell of fresh, clean laundry. “Can you smell that, Patrick? It smells so good!”

“Uh. No.”

I could smell it 5 houses later. That’s when the thought occurred to me.

A few houses later and I could smell grease from the grill. Somebody finished cooking and I could smell it. The remains of cooked grease. Yuck. But the walk did us all some good. Exercise is a great stress reliever and I think I slept better because of it.

This morning, I woke up vividly remembering my dream. I went to the store and bought a specific pregnancy test. It was First Response Early Pregnancy Test. I bought a couple, knowing I had all these other brands at home, but since I still had at least 5 days before I was supposed to start my period, I wanted the one test that would be most likely to detect pregnancy. So I tested. It came out positive.

Then I was in an orphanage, and there was the cutest little newborn baby girl. Scott said, “Hold her, Melissa. You have to hold her.”

The woman holding her handed her to me, and as I picked her up in my arms I realized how tiny she was! She couldn’t have been more than five pounds. I remember she had somewhat of a dark complexion although I was unsure of what her nationality was. She was so beautiful! The longer I held her, the more in love I fell with her. I didn’t want to give her back.

Scott looked at me and said, “Let’s adopt her.” I was so shocked and overwhelmed and confused at the idea of adopting a baby while I was pregnant too. But we started the process because I loved this baby so much. And all I could think about as we started the process was, I can’t let these people know I’m pregnant or they might not let me have her.

In my dream, I started stressing about how long the process was going to take. I thought, “It’s going to be at least a year before I will be able to bring this baby home with me!” But as we started filling out paperwork, a social worker began showing us ways to cut the time in half. Because we’d adopted before, they were able to get old records and get things done much faster. (I love how dreams work themselves out sometimes!)

When I woke up, I decided I was going to use one of the many tests Scott got from a co-worker. Samples. Shoot, I have plenty, I’ll use two. Just in case. I know it’s way early, but I swear, I have symptoms! The nausea, the cramping, the SMELLING!

This is what I got:





Can you see it? The faint lines on both of them? And this test was taken 6 days early!


Suddenly, I’m feeling especially…nauseous.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

I'm Really Kicking Myself

for the mistake I made earlier this month.

What was I thinking? Well, I wasn’t. I just got caught up in the heat of the moment. (Thank you, Scott! No really. Thank YOU.)

Now I’m playing the waiting game. But while I’m waiting, I’ve noticed some slight abdominal cramping. I remember feeling that cramping when I got pregnant with Joshua and Madison. Maybe I’m just crazy. Maybe. It could just be the stress. And the nausea very well could be stress related. But it could also mean I’m pregnant.

Really? What are the odds?

I guess we’ll find out next week.

Monday, October 08, 2007

Oops. I Think I Goofed!

I made a little boo boo this week while tracking my cycle. I have this cool little program on my computer called Hormonal Forecaster that tracks everything…ovulation, menstruation, etc. I’ve used it for years and find it very helpful for natural family planning (I don’t take hormonal birth control of any kind). But I guess things haven’t been as regular since I breastfeed and even though the program calculated that I already ovulated, the ovulation tests just weren’t showing up that I’ve ovulated.

But, I decided to trust the program, (which was stupid of me because I know my cycles have not been regular!) because one day the test showed up as being almost positive, (the line was very dark, but not as dark as the control line) and since the program showed that I was supposed to start my period on Friday, I figured I was good. So last night, Scott and I decided not to worry about birth control.

Then this morning. The ovulation test showed up as a definite positive…five days before I was supposed to start my period.

Great.

So, I suppose I may end up taking more pregnancy tests soon enough. I just can’t believe I goofed things up.