You go into your room at night and see that your bed is made, but you don't remember making it! I must have been in a nesting-zombie like state! heh heh
I'm getting close, I can feel it. My body has ached nearly all day. I've felt some crampy pains in my lower abdomen, especially with contractions. It's really hard to stay in a good mood when you feel that slight irritation all day long!
Anyway, I'm 38 weeks, 1 day!
Showing posts with label pregnancy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pregnancy. Show all posts
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Fun Baby Name Website
Having trouble finding the perfect name for your baby? Let the Baby Name Genie help you! Try it out!
http://www.babynamegenie.com/
http://www.babynamegenie.com/
Thursday, June 05, 2008
36 1/2 Weeks
I had another appointment today. We are getting down to the end! I can't believe it. The doctor will be seeing me weekly from this time forward. And of course today he asked me if I've been having contractions or signs of labor and I just kind of waved it all off as Braxton Hicks. Nothing serious!
And tonight? Tonight I start having contractions that are a bit uncomfortable. They still aren't consistent enough to be considered signs of labor, but it's a bit of a reminder of things to come. (Yikes!) Let's just hope I will last until my mom gets here on the 21st!
As far as cravings, I've moved on from Mint Chocolate Chip icecream to ice chips and popsicles. Oh! and Sprite! Yum!
My husband just scarfed down another piece of cake while I drank my Sprite and am not chewing on ice. How crazy is that? I passed up cake for Sprite and ice!
My energy levels took a turn for the better right after Memorial Weekend. We did a lot that weekend since Tina and the family came up for a visit, so I pretty much rested Monday and Tuesday.
And by Wednesday, it was like this surge of energy hit me, and I've been cleaning and organizing since!
My mood has also been considerably better. I'm no longer feeling depressed, but my poor kids probably can't wait for me to have this baby! The slightest mess makes me crazy! Sometimes I know I'm being completely irrational and I still just can't help myself. I find messes that need to be cleaned up!
Anyway, that's where I am now. We are going to attempt to hit King's Island tomorrow with all the kids. Am I crazy or what? It's supposed to be 95 degrees and I'm almost 37 weeks pregnant and heading towards the theme park! Maybe we'll just head towards the water park. That sounds like a plan to me! :)
And tonight? Tonight I start having contractions that are a bit uncomfortable. They still aren't consistent enough to be considered signs of labor, but it's a bit of a reminder of things to come. (Yikes!) Let's just hope I will last until my mom gets here on the 21st!
As far as cravings, I've moved on from Mint Chocolate Chip icecream to ice chips and popsicles. Oh! and Sprite! Yum!
My husband just scarfed down another piece of cake while I drank my Sprite and am not chewing on ice. How crazy is that? I passed up cake for Sprite and ice!
My energy levels took a turn for the better right after Memorial Weekend. We did a lot that weekend since Tina and the family came up for a visit, so I pretty much rested Monday and Tuesday.
And by Wednesday, it was like this surge of energy hit me, and I've been cleaning and organizing since!
My mood has also been considerably better. I'm no longer feeling depressed, but my poor kids probably can't wait for me to have this baby! The slightest mess makes me crazy! Sometimes I know I'm being completely irrational and I still just can't help myself. I find messes that need to be cleaned up!
Anyway, that's where I am now. We are going to attempt to hit King's Island tomorrow with all the kids. Am I crazy or what? It's supposed to be 95 degrees and I'm almost 37 weeks pregnant and heading towards the theme park! Maybe we'll just head towards the water park. That sounds like a plan to me! :)
Friday, April 11, 2008
Hormones are fun!
28, almost 29 weeks pregnant and I think the hormones are raging. I've been especially emotional today. Emotional, irritable, and tired.
Did I mention I'm irritable? I've got so much on my "To Do" list and today I was just too pooped to deal. I've been running around like crazy this week, and still trying to catch up on the laundry I was all caught up on before the dryer broke and the kids got sick with a lovely puking stomach virus. Fun fun!
Anyway, the baby is really active lately. Lots of kicking and moving. Maybe because he/she is running out of room! (It would help to not lay in my belly sideways!)
I went in for an OB appt last Friday. Glucose test came out perfect, blood pressure looks good, iron was a bit low, which might explain the lack of energy. Or it could be the 5 kids. Who knows?
I mailed off a contract for a Doula today. I drove up to meet her on Wednesday and found out that I get a 2 for 1 deal, (kind of). She's actually a bit pricey, but I think she will be worth it! She works with my OB a lot and has a Doula mentoring under her, as well as another back up for emergencies. I really liked them both and as long as another one of their clients doesn't go into labor at the same time as me, I'll have two Doulas present at the birth. Talk about spoiled, right? ;)
Anyway, I'm relieved to have that done. I registered for a VBAC class in May so hopefully that will be worth the time and money! I guess all this means we are getting closer. I can't believe it!
Did I mention I'm irritable? I've got so much on my "To Do" list and today I was just too pooped to deal. I've been running around like crazy this week, and still trying to catch up on the laundry I was all caught up on before the dryer broke and the kids got sick with a lovely puking stomach virus. Fun fun!
Anyway, the baby is really active lately. Lots of kicking and moving. Maybe because he/she is running out of room! (It would help to not lay in my belly sideways!)
I went in for an OB appt last Friday. Glucose test came out perfect, blood pressure looks good, iron was a bit low, which might explain the lack of energy. Or it could be the 5 kids. Who knows?
I mailed off a contract for a Doula today. I drove up to meet her on Wednesday and found out that I get a 2 for 1 deal, (kind of). She's actually a bit pricey, but I think she will be worth it! She works with my OB a lot and has a Doula mentoring under her, as well as another back up for emergencies. I really liked them both and as long as another one of their clients doesn't go into labor at the same time as me, I'll have two Doulas present at the birth. Talk about spoiled, right? ;)
Anyway, I'm relieved to have that done. I registered for a VBAC class in May so hopefully that will be worth the time and money! I guess all this means we are getting closer. I can't believe it!
Monday, February 11, 2008
Half Way There
Today was my half-way point in my pregnancy. Didn't do too much to celebrate as I was busy with kids. I did work out for 25 minutes and got to take a shower while Madison napped and Joshua played on the Wii with his friend. Thank goodness Dwight showed up at home this afternoon. He skipped track because he wasn't filling too well, so I left Kelly at home with him while I drove Joshua and his friend to their afternoon art class. It was SO cold.
I've been getting headaches the last couple of days and today was no different. I think they are tension headaches. Such a pain.
Getting further along in this pregnancy isn't helping with the emotions either. I'm still feeling like I'm pretty much in this alone. I get to talk to a friend occasionally on the phone (long-distance) but that just isn't really helping with all the emotions I'm going through with this pregnancy.
And now that I know we are probably moving, I'm kind of on hold as far as hiring a doula. To top that off, Scott is totally distracted with his job situation to really show any interest in this pregnancy. It just kind of sucks all around.
I've been getting headaches the last couple of days and today was no different. I think they are tension headaches. Such a pain.
Getting further along in this pregnancy isn't helping with the emotions either. I'm still feeling like I'm pretty much in this alone. I get to talk to a friend occasionally on the phone (long-distance) but that just isn't really helping with all the emotions I'm going through with this pregnancy.
And now that I know we are probably moving, I'm kind of on hold as far as hiring a doula. To top that off, Scott is totally distracted with his job situation to really show any interest in this pregnancy. It just kind of sucks all around.
Tuesday, November 06, 2007
I'm Just Going To Get Real About My Feelings On Childbirth
I’ve been in a funk. Sure, Scott being gone might have something to do with it, but I honestly believe that if he was here, the things I’ve been questioning would have just been put on hold and I wouldn’t have dealt with them until I was absolutely forced to.
So I’ve been forced to look at some things and now it’s time for some honesty.
This pregnancy has me scared. For some reason, I’m scared out of my wits. I know that hormones play a part, but I have days where I’m thinking random crazy thoughts, like:
Somethings wrong. I can just feel it. Something bad is about to happen.
Is something wrong with my baby? Something just doesn’t feel right.
I can’t do this. I can’t go through this pregnancy. I’m just not strong enough, I don’t have the energy! (Melissa, you LOVE being pregnant. What are you talking about?)
Ugh, I can’t stay in a hospital for three days again! I don’t want to sit around in a bed and be bored out of my mind!
And that’s when it me! I’ve been seriously considering a VBAC birth this time around. I actually thought about it with Madison, but all it took was for me to hit one website with a couple’s tragic story of how they lost their baby due to a VBAC delivery gone wrong and I was done. When I went into labor the morning I was scheduled for a C-Section, I briefly reconsidered trying a VBAC delivery again, but after talking to my doctor, he convinced me that I should just go with the c-section. Now don’t get me wrong, he was a GREAT Dr. and I felt he took great care of me, but I didn’t have the confidence that if something went wrong, that he was fully prepared, and he didn’t feel confident that I could deliver vaginally, and I figured if my doctor said I couldn’t do it, well, then I probably couldn’t do it.
And that got me to thinking about my first delivery. They induced me a week early with Joshua because I had pre-eclampsia and things got so bad they decided to “call me in to talk about a plan” and once I showed up, they said, “Here’s your room.” That’s when they started the very painful induction, including inserting a balloon up me to help me dialate. It took the nurse forever to do that and I was in complete agony. They continued to increase the pitocin throughout the night, and after 12 hours of hard labor, I was asking for relief from my pain.
24 1/2 hours later and it was finally time to push. I pushed and pushed for 2 1/2 hours but Joshua’s head wouldn’t budge. They checked, and I heard the doctor say, “She’s too tired to continue pushing. We’ll just schedule a C-Section.” At that point I was so damn drugged up that even though inside I was thinking, “No I’m not! I could keep pushing!” I didn’t say anything. And since I was so damn drugged up, I looked at my mom who was crying for me and I said, “I don’t even care. I just want this to be over with.”
And now I think about it and I wonder. What if the doctor said, “How do you feel Melissa? Do you feel like you can keep pushing or would you like us to cut you open and then staple you shut in a quickie surgery that is way more convenient for us and will cost you 6 weeks of your life to recover and a year of post-partum depression?” I’m thinking I would have said, “I’ll keep pushing!” How I wish I’d said something now! How I wish I’d stayed off the drugs. But I guess the past is in the past.
Still, I never gave myself the chance to mourn. I rationalized my silence over the matter with the idea that something bad could have happened to the baby (even though he was in NO distress during my labor). The truth is, I felt like less of a woman because I didn’t give birth to my babies the way God created me to. I’m not saying that I am less of a woman, but this is how I feel. I feel that I wasn’t given the chance. I feel like I didn’t have the support and encouragement I needed to succeed in childbirth. I feel like I needed someone to believe in me and speak up for me when I couldn’t. But we’re all so used to letting the doctor tell us what we are and aren’t capable of that we’ve forgotten that they are there to help us, we are paying them for their services yet we are letting them make major medical decisions that impact our lives, not theirs!
My only concern is that my risk for a uterin rupture is higher because my last pregnancy/delivery won’t have been 2 years apart from this pregnancy. Fortunately, I did find a doctor who has an “Open philosophy” to childbirth and has experience with not only natural drug free birth, but VBAC. I will talk to him about the risks after my first ultrasound (which has yet to be scheduled!)
But after going online and researching and thinking about things, I’m starting to feel better about this. If I never try, then I feel like I’ve truly failed, but if I at least give it my all - if I eat healthy, excercise, read up, take classes, do everything in my power to succeed in a natural childbirth, then if I fail, at least I can say that it just wasn’t meant to be.
So I’m off on a mission to start researching and learning and reading up on everything that I can. I admit with my raging hormones I’m probably going to still be in a bit of a funk until I’ve come to terms with the fact that maybe things could have been different with my last two childbirth experiences.
I tend to be a chicken shit at times and make decisons based off my fear. I’ll do anything to prevent a tragedy! So I’m thinking this time that I need to pray real hard about the motivation behind my decisions and if I still feel at peace about doing this, then I do this all the way.
Wow. I know this is completely off subject, but I never thought I’d cuss and talk about praying in the same paragraph! I’m totally hormonal!
So I’ve been forced to look at some things and now it’s time for some honesty.
This pregnancy has me scared. For some reason, I’m scared out of my wits. I know that hormones play a part, but I have days where I’m thinking random crazy thoughts, like:
Somethings wrong. I can just feel it. Something bad is about to happen.
Is something wrong with my baby? Something just doesn’t feel right.
I can’t do this. I can’t go through this pregnancy. I’m just not strong enough, I don’t have the energy! (Melissa, you LOVE being pregnant. What are you talking about?)
Ugh, I can’t stay in a hospital for three days again! I don’t want to sit around in a bed and be bored out of my mind!
And that’s when it me! I’ve been seriously considering a VBAC birth this time around. I actually thought about it with Madison, but all it took was for me to hit one website with a couple’s tragic story of how they lost their baby due to a VBAC delivery gone wrong and I was done. When I went into labor the morning I was scheduled for a C-Section, I briefly reconsidered trying a VBAC delivery again, but after talking to my doctor, he convinced me that I should just go with the c-section. Now don’t get me wrong, he was a GREAT Dr. and I felt he took great care of me, but I didn’t have the confidence that if something went wrong, that he was fully prepared, and he didn’t feel confident that I could deliver vaginally, and I figured if my doctor said I couldn’t do it, well, then I probably couldn’t do it.
And that got me to thinking about my first delivery. They induced me a week early with Joshua because I had pre-eclampsia and things got so bad they decided to “call me in to talk about a plan” and once I showed up, they said, “Here’s your room.” That’s when they started the very painful induction, including inserting a balloon up me to help me dialate. It took the nurse forever to do that and I was in complete agony. They continued to increase the pitocin throughout the night, and after 12 hours of hard labor, I was asking for relief from my pain.
24 1/2 hours later and it was finally time to push. I pushed and pushed for 2 1/2 hours but Joshua’s head wouldn’t budge. They checked, and I heard the doctor say, “She’s too tired to continue pushing. We’ll just schedule a C-Section.” At that point I was so damn drugged up that even though inside I was thinking, “No I’m not! I could keep pushing!” I didn’t say anything. And since I was so damn drugged up, I looked at my mom who was crying for me and I said, “I don’t even care. I just want this to be over with.”
And now I think about it and I wonder. What if the doctor said, “How do you feel Melissa? Do you feel like you can keep pushing or would you like us to cut you open and then staple you shut in a quickie surgery that is way more convenient for us and will cost you 6 weeks of your life to recover and a year of post-partum depression?” I’m thinking I would have said, “I’ll keep pushing!” How I wish I’d said something now! How I wish I’d stayed off the drugs. But I guess the past is in the past.
Still, I never gave myself the chance to mourn. I rationalized my silence over the matter with the idea that something bad could have happened to the baby (even though he was in NO distress during my labor). The truth is, I felt like less of a woman because I didn’t give birth to my babies the way God created me to. I’m not saying that I am less of a woman, but this is how I feel. I feel that I wasn’t given the chance. I feel like I didn’t have the support and encouragement I needed to succeed in childbirth. I feel like I needed someone to believe in me and speak up for me when I couldn’t. But we’re all so used to letting the doctor tell us what we are and aren’t capable of that we’ve forgotten that they are there to help us, we are paying them for their services yet we are letting them make major medical decisions that impact our lives, not theirs!
My only concern is that my risk for a uterin rupture is higher because my last pregnancy/delivery won’t have been 2 years apart from this pregnancy. Fortunately, I did find a doctor who has an “Open philosophy” to childbirth and has experience with not only natural drug free birth, but VBAC. I will talk to him about the risks after my first ultrasound (which has yet to be scheduled!)
But after going online and researching and thinking about things, I’m starting to feel better about this. If I never try, then I feel like I’ve truly failed, but if I at least give it my all - if I eat healthy, excercise, read up, take classes, do everything in my power to succeed in a natural childbirth, then if I fail, at least I can say that it just wasn’t meant to be.
So I’m off on a mission to start researching and learning and reading up on everything that I can. I admit with my raging hormones I’m probably going to still be in a bit of a funk until I’ve come to terms with the fact that maybe things could have been different with my last two childbirth experiences.
I tend to be a chicken shit at times and make decisons based off my fear. I’ll do anything to prevent a tragedy! So I’m thinking this time that I need to pray real hard about the motivation behind my decisions and if I still feel at peace about doing this, then I do this all the way.
Wow. I know this is completely off subject, but I never thought I’d cuss and talk about praying in the same paragraph! I’m totally hormonal!
Saturday, November 03, 2007
Just Make It Through The Weekend
I woke up this morning and peaked out the window by my font door. A wave of sadness hit me as I saw the minivan was gone. My husband left me for four nights, five days and is on an airplane heading towards the West Coast. He has business to tend to in California and since he's going to be so close to family, he figured he probably should be a good son and go visit his parents.
So I get to endure the entire weekend with five kids and an increasing bout of nausea without him. I've been feeling a little more nausious anyway, but last night it hit hard. A friend told me to try anything with ginger, so Scott started with Gingersnap cookies last night. That just made things worse. So he started to pour some gingerale, which actually has helped quite a bit over the last couple of days. I ended up rushing to the kitchen as he was pouring and swiped the glass out of his hands. I will do just about anything to keep myself from throwing up because I hate it, hate it, hate it! And I knew it was coming. So I started slowly drinking my gingerale. I made it through the night without embracing the porceline throne, but barely. I was miserable most of the night. I'm not even six weeks along and this is what I'm dealing with. I really hope things don't get worse, especially over the weekend!
Obviously these hormones are really strong this time around. Maybe the whole brain shrinking during pregnancy thing gave me a little amnesia but I don't remember feeling this...bitchy so early in my other pregnancies. My poor kids and poor husband. Things just drive me crazy! One minute I want to scream, another minute I want to cry. I really have to get control of myself!
So I get to endure the entire weekend with five kids and an increasing bout of nausea without him. I've been feeling a little more nausious anyway, but last night it hit hard. A friend told me to try anything with ginger, so Scott started with Gingersnap cookies last night. That just made things worse. So he started to pour some gingerale, which actually has helped quite a bit over the last couple of days. I ended up rushing to the kitchen as he was pouring and swiped the glass out of his hands. I will do just about anything to keep myself from throwing up because I hate it, hate it, hate it! And I knew it was coming. So I started slowly drinking my gingerale. I made it through the night without embracing the porceline throne, but barely. I was miserable most of the night. I'm not even six weeks along and this is what I'm dealing with. I really hope things don't get worse, especially over the weekend!
Obviously these hormones are really strong this time around. Maybe the whole brain shrinking during pregnancy thing gave me a little amnesia but I don't remember feeling this...bitchy so early in my other pregnancies. My poor kids and poor husband. Things just drive me crazy! One minute I want to scream, another minute I want to cry. I really have to get control of myself!
Thursday, November 01, 2007
First OB Appointment!
I've decided that with my raging hormones, I'm just not going to be happy! I am, but I'm not. See? I AM pregnant, aren't I?
I went in for my first appointment today. It was stressful trying to get there. Construction traffic. Stupid GPS telling me I was there when I wasn't. Or was I and I just didn't know it? Scott got there before I did and started the paperwork for me and I was an emotional wreck by the time I got there. I hate being late.
I saw the NP, her name was Michelle and she has the same last name I do. That was kind of funny. I really liked her and feel good about the doctor I chose. They have an "Open Philosophy" basically meaning, what mama wants, mama gets, at least until it just isn't possible.
After talking to her a little bit, I wasn't so emotional. Maybe because we spent a good part of the appointment laughing.
But by the time I got back into my mini-van, I was about to burst into tears. Why? Because I remembered the numbers on the scale. Yes, I weigh 1 lb. less than what I weighed at my last Dr.'s appointment (at the Urgent Care Clinic last month) but when I started to think about my weight with my last two pregnancies, I realized that I am currently heavier this pregnancy than I was with either of my last two pregnancies! I wanted to cry so bad, but I had to drive myself and my three kids home.
I can NOT gain as much weight as I did with Madison. This time, I'm going to have to be more active and very careful about what I eat (Note to self: Throw away the Halloween candy after the kids go to sleep. Blame it on Dad).
I'm just glad I hit the gym today. At least I can say I'm trying.
I went in for my first appointment today. It was stressful trying to get there. Construction traffic. Stupid GPS telling me I was there when I wasn't. Or was I and I just didn't know it? Scott got there before I did and started the paperwork for me and I was an emotional wreck by the time I got there. I hate being late.
I saw the NP, her name was Michelle and she has the same last name I do. That was kind of funny. I really liked her and feel good about the doctor I chose. They have an "Open Philosophy" basically meaning, what mama wants, mama gets, at least until it just isn't possible.
After talking to her a little bit, I wasn't so emotional. Maybe because we spent a good part of the appointment laughing.
But by the time I got back into my mini-van, I was about to burst into tears. Why? Because I remembered the numbers on the scale. Yes, I weigh 1 lb. less than what I weighed at my last Dr.'s appointment (at the Urgent Care Clinic last month) but when I started to think about my weight with my last two pregnancies, I realized that I am currently heavier this pregnancy than I was with either of my last two pregnancies! I wanted to cry so bad, but I had to drive myself and my three kids home.
I can NOT gain as much weight as I did with Madison. This time, I'm going to have to be more active and very careful about what I eat (Note to self: Throw away the Halloween candy after the kids go to sleep. Blame it on Dad).
I'm just glad I hit the gym today. At least I can say I'm trying.
Monday, October 08, 2007
Oops. I Think I Goofed!
I made a little boo boo this week while tracking my cycle. I have this cool little program on my computer called Hormonal Forecaster that tracks everything…ovulation, menstruation, etc. I’ve used it for years and find it very helpful for natural family planning (I don’t take hormonal birth control of any kind). But I guess things haven’t been as regular since I breastfeed and even though the program calculated that I already ovulated, the ovulation tests just weren’t showing up that I’ve ovulated.
But, I decided to trust the program, (which was stupid of me because I know my cycles have not been regular!) because one day the test showed up as being almost positive, (the line was very dark, but not as dark as the control line) and since the program showed that I was supposed to start my period on Friday, I figured I was good. So last night, Scott and I decided not to worry about birth control.
Then this morning. The ovulation test showed up as a definite positive…five days before I was supposed to start my period.
Great.
So, I suppose I may end up taking more pregnancy tests soon enough. I just can’t believe I goofed things up.
But, I decided to trust the program, (which was stupid of me because I know my cycles have not been regular!) because one day the test showed up as being almost positive, (the line was very dark, but not as dark as the control line) and since the program showed that I was supposed to start my period on Friday, I figured I was good. So last night, Scott and I decided not to worry about birth control.
Then this morning. The ovulation test showed up as a definite positive…five days before I was supposed to start my period.
Great.
So, I suppose I may end up taking more pregnancy tests soon enough. I just can’t believe I goofed things up.
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
One Year Ago Today
I found out I was pregnant with Madison. I had some symptoms and although it was several days early before I was supposed to take a test, I just had to try. The + popped up right away.
I couldn't believe my eyes! I woke Scott up, who was sleeping on the couch because his back was killing him. He looked at the test results and said, "Cool" before he went back to sleep. It about drove me crazy waiting for my mom to wake up that morning. When she went straight for the bathroom I contemplated knocking the door down, but I kept my cool and when she came down the stairs, I showed her. Needless to say, she was thrilled and couldn't believe that I not only was able to get the + so early in my pregnancy, but that I also got pregnant so easy.
And here she is almost 4 months old cooing and squealing to her heart's content. There was a period in my first trimester where I thought I was going to lose her - a big lesson in faith for me. Although I received a prophecy that everything was going to be okay before anyone even knew I was pregnant, I can't tell you how many days I stayed on the couch with my feet propped up just crying because I was afraid I was losing her. I'd lost a baby before and I just felt that if I lost this one too, I wouldn't be able to try again. It was just too heartbreaking. But God looked after her and the rest of the pregnancy went perfectly. I can't believe it's been a year. I praise God for the blessing He gave me when I was so afraid to try for another baby. I look back and can say God is good.
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
Tomorrow's The Day
I go in tomorrow for the surgery. 12 hours from now I should be recovering from my surgery. I am nervous and hope I get some decent sleep tonight!
I can't believe it's the end. I'm a bit sad, I must confess. I've so enjoyed this pregnancy...after the initial scare of miscarrying. I'm about to meet my baby girl - the child God told me He wanted to give me when I was too scared to even try. The little one who when, within weeks of being placed in my womb, was then prophecied about existing within me as I was trying to keep it a secret. Tomorrow is going to be a special day.
I'm scared, I'm nervous, I'm excited.
I'll be a bit sad about not feeling this little one move and squirm within me, but look forward to seeing her face and giving her a name.
I've learned a lot throughout this pregnancy, especially about the love of the Lord. He has been good to me and I am thankful.
I can't believe it's the end. I'm a bit sad, I must confess. I've so enjoyed this pregnancy...after the initial scare of miscarrying. I'm about to meet my baby girl - the child God told me He wanted to give me when I was too scared to even try. The little one who when, within weeks of being placed in my womb, was then prophecied about existing within me as I was trying to keep it a secret. Tomorrow is going to be a special day.
I'm scared, I'm nervous, I'm excited.
I'll be a bit sad about not feeling this little one move and squirm within me, but look forward to seeing her face and giving her a name.
I've learned a lot throughout this pregnancy, especially about the love of the Lord. He has been good to me and I am thankful.
Monday, August 28, 2006
Contractions
I woke up several times last night...with contractions.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I can't do this! YOU can't do this to me! Although I admit once, the contraction was caused by a very good dream *wink* the rest were quite uncomfortable.
Today I decided to take it easy. Every time I got on my feet to do something, my belly got hard. She is also pushing out. She likes to push her body way out against my belly, so sometimes it's hard to tell what is going on.
I just need to make it until my mom gets in. She flies in Saturday night. I told Scott if I go into labor before the scheduled C-Section, I think I might just try to go natural. I may still end up with a C-Section, but if my body is ready to try, then I'll take it as a sign to at least try.
I guess I should finish packing my hospital bag...just in case...
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I can't do this! YOU can't do this to me! Although I admit once, the contraction was caused by a very good dream *wink* the rest were quite uncomfortable.
Today I decided to take it easy. Every time I got on my feet to do something, my belly got hard. She is also pushing out. She likes to push her body way out against my belly, so sometimes it's hard to tell what is going on.
I just need to make it until my mom gets in. She flies in Saturday night. I told Scott if I go into labor before the scheduled C-Section, I think I might just try to go natural. I may still end up with a C-Section, but if my body is ready to try, then I'll take it as a sign to at least try.
I guess I should finish packing my hospital bag...just in case...
Saturday, August 26, 2006
Read At Your Own Risk
I’m totally blaming this on being in the very last stage of pregnancy…okay? Things get kind of…gross towards the end…
Yesterday my 5 year old embarrassed me. Thank God I wasn’t in public. We were sitting on the floor with my 10 yr. old and 3 year old feeling the baby move. All three had their hands on my belly as their little sister kicked and squirmed away.
Well, Joshua started to get bored and started rolling around on the floor. I was in the middle of a conversation with my 10 year old and didn’t even notice Joshua laying his head on the floor, right between my legs, which were sprawled out as I sat on the floor.
He sits up and says, “EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWE, you stink down there!”
“WHAT?!?!” I asked, shocked, embarrassed, and in disbelief.
“You stink down there! Did you pee your pants?” He said asked as he tried to put his head back “down there.”
I stopped him. “Noooooo, you are not allowed to do that! You embarrassed me! You don't smell people there!”
He started giggling and said, “You are a dirty old pregnant lady!”
And I can't tell you how dirty I felt at that moment!
Yesterday my 5 year old embarrassed me. Thank God I wasn’t in public. We were sitting on the floor with my 10 yr. old and 3 year old feeling the baby move. All three had their hands on my belly as their little sister kicked and squirmed away.
Well, Joshua started to get bored and started rolling around on the floor. I was in the middle of a conversation with my 10 year old and didn’t even notice Joshua laying his head on the floor, right between my legs, which were sprawled out as I sat on the floor.
He sits up and says, “EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWE, you stink down there!”
“WHAT?!?!” I asked, shocked, embarrassed, and in disbelief.
“You stink down there! Did you pee your pants?” He said asked as he tried to put his head back “down there.”
I stopped him. “Noooooo, you are not allowed to do that! You embarrassed me! You don't smell people there!”
He started giggling and said, “You are a dirty old pregnant lady!”
And I can't tell you how dirty I felt at that moment!
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Too Much Caffeine
Anxiety is starting to decrease. Scott is really trying so hard to be supportive. I had a much better night of sleep even if someone called early in the a.m. when I was planning on sleeping in, to let me know I had a 10:00 meeting with our pastor. I couldn't go to sleep after that. I got about 6 hours of sleep minus the 4 trips to the bathroom. It ALMOST could count for sleepwalking though.
I didn't take a nap. After my meeting, which lasted nearly 2 hours, I picked Scott up and we took Joshua and Kelly to Tony's Pizza for lunch. This is where I feel guilty. I ordered a Diet Coke. Scott did too, so they brought a pitcher to the table so we could refill our glasses as needed, and I did.
Ummmmm...I think I drank too much caffeine...poor baby has been moving and squirming all day. I came home and started working on a project for the church, which I was determined to complete today since I have 2 weeks before the C-Section, and popped Hershey's kisses with almonds in my mouth as I worked on my laptop...great...sugar AND caffeine. I need to exhibit more self-control!
Yeah, she's kicking and squirming inside. It's all my fault! It's nearly 10 p.m., I've had NO nap, I didn't get my 8 hours of GOOD sleep, and I'M not even tired. GUILTY, GUILTY, GUILTY!
I didn't take a nap. After my meeting, which lasted nearly 2 hours, I picked Scott up and we took Joshua and Kelly to Tony's Pizza for lunch. This is where I feel guilty. I ordered a Diet Coke. Scott did too, so they brought a pitcher to the table so we could refill our glasses as needed, and I did.
Ummmmm...I think I drank too much caffeine...poor baby has been moving and squirming all day. I came home and started working on a project for the church, which I was determined to complete today since I have 2 weeks before the C-Section, and popped Hershey's kisses with almonds in my mouth as I worked on my laptop...great...sugar AND caffeine. I need to exhibit more self-control!
Yeah, she's kicking and squirming inside. It's all my fault! It's nearly 10 p.m., I've had NO nap, I didn't get my 8 hours of GOOD sleep, and I'M not even tired. GUILTY, GUILTY, GUILTY!
Growing Pains
She's getting bigger. I know because I'm getting really uncomfortable. In fact, I woke up last night and no matter what position I was in, I was aching. It is getting hard to even roll over from one side to another. I also had to pee, every time I woke up. She's pushing on my bladder.
I forgot how uncomfortable the last few weeks are. Thank God for naps!
I forgot how uncomfortable the last few weeks are. Thank God for naps!
Thursday, August 17, 2006
Icy Waters & Fighting Sharks
Had another dream last night...we were flying in the sky, on a cloud. Scott was in control, he was actually flying the cloud. I looked down and saw the icy seas below. He could tell I was getting nervous being up so high. "Do you want me to take it down? Would you like to get a closer look at the sea?"
"Yes." I said. I definitely did. Anything to be closer to the ground. But there was no ground...just icy waters.
This part of the dream is a bit foggy now that I'm awake, but I 'think' that we decided to jump in the water for a swim. I was reluctant at first. Icy water? But Scott convinced me that it felt so nice. I saw Joshua was in the water too, so I jumped in just in case he needed me to help him get out. The water slushed around our bodies, and for a minute, I did enjoy it. Joshua told me he was ready to get out.
Then I became aware of the threat of sharks. There were some "bottom feeder" sharks that I discovered loved to feed on human flesh. They were vicious and cruel. I remember going under water and finding them. I rushed back up to warn Scott. We had to get back on the cloud and fly away.
But we ended up fighting them, wrestling them with our bare hands, wondering if we were going to survive.
I don't remember any more of the dream, but I do feel there is some significance to it. I just wish I knew what it means. I've heard dreaming about large bodies of water has to do with pregnancy, but ICY waters???
"Yes." I said. I definitely did. Anything to be closer to the ground. But there was no ground...just icy waters.
This part of the dream is a bit foggy now that I'm awake, but I 'think' that we decided to jump in the water for a swim. I was reluctant at first. Icy water? But Scott convinced me that it felt so nice. I saw Joshua was in the water too, so I jumped in just in case he needed me to help him get out. The water slushed around our bodies, and for a minute, I did enjoy it. Joshua told me he was ready to get out.
Then I became aware of the threat of sharks. There were some "bottom feeder" sharks that I discovered loved to feed on human flesh. They were vicious and cruel. I remember going under water and finding them. I rushed back up to warn Scott. We had to get back on the cloud and fly away.
But we ended up fighting them, wrestling them with our bare hands, wondering if we were going to survive.
I don't remember any more of the dream, but I do feel there is some significance to it. I just wish I knew what it means. I've heard dreaming about large bodies of water has to do with pregnancy, but ICY waters???
Sunday, August 13, 2006
Anxiety
Back when I used to have my monthly cycles, I would know it was coming because a night or so before it would hit, I'd be up at night thinking about worst-case scenerio situations that could happen to me or those I love. I literally have to tell myself to stop thinking, because most of my thoughts are not rational or even realistic, and they certainly don't put my trust in God, they just feed my fears.
Now that I have less than 4 weeks until this baby is going to be born, I'm doing it again. My hormones must really be going strong. For the first time in my life, I came close to feeling like I was going to have an anxiety attack. I was in bed thinking about decisions I've made, wondering if I'm screwing up my kids' lives. My heart started pounding faster and I had butterflies in my stomach that got so bad I thought I might throw up. For a second, I thought I was going to have to get out of bed...but that thought led me to believe I had to "get out of here."
Out of where? Where am I going to go?
The other night I was awake and thinking about the upcoming c-section. The thought of the epidural...not pleasant...then, the reality of how they perform a c-section. They are going to open up my body. Doesn't help that I've come across TWO articles about how easy it is for Surgeons to leave things in their patients' bodies, such as gauze, gloves, tools, etc. Oh gross.
So it's been bothering me. I wonder if they will have to drug me up to calm me down enough for this surgery. When I had to have my c-section last time, I was in labor for 27 hours, I'd pushed for 2-2.5 hours and by that point, I didn't care, I just wanted it overwith.
Now, I'm fully aware of everything going on. I'm not going to go in there exhausted like I was then. It makes me nervous.
Now that I have less than 4 weeks until this baby is going to be born, I'm doing it again. My hormones must really be going strong. For the first time in my life, I came close to feeling like I was going to have an anxiety attack. I was in bed thinking about decisions I've made, wondering if I'm screwing up my kids' lives. My heart started pounding faster and I had butterflies in my stomach that got so bad I thought I might throw up. For a second, I thought I was going to have to get out of bed...but that thought led me to believe I had to "get out of here."
Out of where? Where am I going to go?
The other night I was awake and thinking about the upcoming c-section. The thought of the epidural...not pleasant...then, the reality of how they perform a c-section. They are going to open up my body. Doesn't help that I've come across TWO articles about how easy it is for Surgeons to leave things in their patients' bodies, such as gauze, gloves, tools, etc. Oh gross.
So it's been bothering me. I wonder if they will have to drug me up to calm me down enough for this surgery. When I had to have my c-section last time, I was in labor for 27 hours, I'd pushed for 2-2.5 hours and by that point, I didn't care, I just wanted it overwith.
Now, I'm fully aware of everything going on. I'm not going to go in there exhausted like I was then. It makes me nervous.
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
One more dream to mention
Shortly after Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie had their baby, I had a dream that they showed up at our house. They decided they were going to stay with us.
And unlike many people would respond...we were not excited...we were worried.
Can you blame us?
We had no idea they were coming, and they didn't know us, so needless to say, Scott and I felt a bit strange about this arrangement. They stayed one night, basically going out, doing their thing, and then coming back to sleep. I do remember they wanted to spend some time w/ our kids and Nathanuel was full of questions...
So, we figured they were going to leave after that, right?
Wrong. They said they were going to stay longer.
How long? They didn't say.
So Scott and I started talking..."I don't even know if I have any food in the kitchen to feed them!" I said. "I don't even know what they like to eat!"
How long can we handle having these people in our house? I mean surely eventually if they don't leave it's going to get kind of old, right? Why are they staying with US? They don't even know us! They're rich, why aren't they staying in a more comfortable place?
These were all the questions we asked, and I woke up before they ever left!
And unlike many people would respond...we were not excited...we were worried.
Can you blame us?
We had no idea they were coming, and they didn't know us, so needless to say, Scott and I felt a bit strange about this arrangement. They stayed one night, basically going out, doing their thing, and then coming back to sleep. I do remember they wanted to spend some time w/ our kids and Nathanuel was full of questions...
So, we figured they were going to leave after that, right?
Wrong. They said they were going to stay longer.
How long? They didn't say.
So Scott and I started talking..."I don't even know if I have any food in the kitchen to feed them!" I said. "I don't even know what they like to eat!"
How long can we handle having these people in our house? I mean surely eventually if they don't leave it's going to get kind of old, right? Why are they staying with US? They don't even know us! They're rich, why aren't they staying in a more comfortable place?
These were all the questions we asked, and I woke up before they ever left!
Strange Dream
Last night I had a dream that I had a home delivery...it was quite unexpected, especially since my very own husband performed a C-Section in our home to deliver the baby! So I had my little girl and went to breast feed her and as I looked down, I realized it was actually Kelly I was breastfeeding. SHE was my baby...and she breastfed for about 5 minutes and wouldn't eat anymore.
So it turned out that as she got up and waddled off that I for some reason had to convince Kelly to eat in order for my baby to get the food she needed. I couldn't just stick the baby on my breast and feed her...noooooooooooooooo...I had to try to convince Kelly to breastfeed, and she just wasn't interested.
So as I was trying to figure out that dilemma, I also started to think about my surgery. I was waiting for the epidural to wear off and to start feeling the pain from the incision and it just wasn't happening...AND I was walking, so the epidural should have wore off by now, right?
Then the thought of my husband inserting that long needle in my back started to creep me out. He doesn't know how to do that! What was I thinking letting him do that? (forget that he actually performed the c-section, right?)
"Honey, did you give me an epidural when you did the c-section."
Oh good...he didn't...he just put me to sleep. That is why I couldn't remember the delivery!
So, it turned out that I never got the epidural and I was in no pain. I guess I wasn't going to feel any pain!
Oh...time to feed the baby...so that means I need to find Kelly who is wondering around in the crowd of young teenagers... "Kelly...where are you?"
So it turned out that as she got up and waddled off that I for some reason had to convince Kelly to eat in order for my baby to get the food she needed. I couldn't just stick the baby on my breast and feed her...noooooooooooooooo...I had to try to convince Kelly to breastfeed, and she just wasn't interested.
So as I was trying to figure out that dilemma, I also started to think about my surgery. I was waiting for the epidural to wear off and to start feeling the pain from the incision and it just wasn't happening...AND I was walking, so the epidural should have wore off by now, right?
Then the thought of my husband inserting that long needle in my back started to creep me out. He doesn't know how to do that! What was I thinking letting him do that? (forget that he actually performed the c-section, right?)
"Honey, did you give me an epidural when you did the c-section."
Oh good...he didn't...he just put me to sleep. That is why I couldn't remember the delivery!
So, it turned out that I never got the epidural and I was in no pain. I guess I wasn't going to feel any pain!
Oh...time to feed the baby...so that means I need to find Kelly who is wondering around in the crowd of young teenagers... "Kelly...where are you?"
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
Third Trimester Woes
It hit, it's here.
I'm uncomfortable and extremely tired. Everything I wanted to get done before this stage hit, is pretty much still waiting to be done.
"Baby room" is painted. Finally. Finished it Sunday. It should have only taken about 2 1/2 hours, but it took closer to 6. I needed more breaks. I was so tired of painting that stupid room. But we can celebrate because Nickalodeon green slime, and the bright orange and white logo is no longer dominating the walls.
If it weren't for my husband's brilliant ideas, we'd still be calling this finished room, "The baby room", but nooooooooooooooooooooo, he had to go thinking about our current living arrangement and suggested moving all the kids around, giving Dwight his own room, putting Joshua and Patrick in a room, and baby and Kelly in another.
Now, this wasn't all that brilliant, Kelly with the baby? No way. I wouldn't do that for a million dollars. The two would make each other miserable waking each other up, then I'd have two cranky butts to deal with, which would make me the third cranky butt. No, I think not. But...it got me to thinking, Joshua would love to room in with his big brothers, if we moved the boys into the room he and Kelly share...well, the baby could have the older boy's room, which is the smallest room and the one closest to the master bedroom. Kelly could have the newly painted room and we could keep the full-sized bed in there for guests. Now that might just work!
So we went out and got a bunk bed at BJ's warehouse type store Saturday. For $200 it's made of solid wood and has rails on all sides, with a small opening to climb up and down. Doesn't match the other bunk bed really, but it is made of wood too, so I think it will work.
Scott has been hard at work trying to finish up the laminate flooring project we started last fall. Yeah, it's been almost a year and still haven't finished. Last night Dwight and I ripped up the majority of the carpet/padding in the "used-to-be-baby-room." This should be the easiest room by far to install the flooring, but it's the biggest room after the master room. Then we'll just have bathrooms.
Wow, am I mumbling about rooms or what? It's because I'm a zombie. I actually took a nap today after taking Dwight to his Neurology appointment. I managed to keep myself up until a little after noon, long enough to eat lunch. Then I went in my room and cried my emotional eyeballs out...hormones are strong and I'm dealing with some issues right now I'm struggling internally on trying to resolve. What to do, what to do? Have a good cry. Yeah, that helps...a little. Now...I can sleep...for about two hours.
I got up at three and made some preparations for our trip to Myrtle Beach. Kennel arrangments for the dogs, another appointment to get my van fixed now that the parts are in, yada yada yada. Then I sat there for about an hour...
Scott suggested we go out for dinner. Works for me. So we went to a local pizza place and ate, went home, and two hours later I'm trying to figure out how I can possibly convince my 3 and 5 year old into going to bed early. Yeah, not going to happen. 30 more minutes and I'm waking my husband, who's been napping for over an hour now, to let him know it's definitely bed time.
Then I'll go upstairs, try to find a comfortable position to sleep in, get up to go pee about 5 times, but when I do sleep, I'll sleep hard. 6 more weeks...and counting down.
I'm uncomfortable and extremely tired. Everything I wanted to get done before this stage hit, is pretty much still waiting to be done.
"Baby room" is painted. Finally. Finished it Sunday. It should have only taken about 2 1/2 hours, but it took closer to 6. I needed more breaks. I was so tired of painting that stupid room. But we can celebrate because Nickalodeon green slime, and the bright orange and white logo is no longer dominating the walls.
If it weren't for my husband's brilliant ideas, we'd still be calling this finished room, "The baby room", but nooooooooooooooooooooo, he had to go thinking about our current living arrangement and suggested moving all the kids around, giving Dwight his own room, putting Joshua and Patrick in a room, and baby and Kelly in another.
Now, this wasn't all that brilliant, Kelly with the baby? No way. I wouldn't do that for a million dollars. The two would make each other miserable waking each other up, then I'd have two cranky butts to deal with, which would make me the third cranky butt. No, I think not. But...it got me to thinking, Joshua would love to room in with his big brothers, if we moved the boys into the room he and Kelly share...well, the baby could have the older boy's room, which is the smallest room and the one closest to the master bedroom. Kelly could have the newly painted room and we could keep the full-sized bed in there for guests. Now that might just work!
So we went out and got a bunk bed at BJ's warehouse type store Saturday. For $200 it's made of solid wood and has rails on all sides, with a small opening to climb up and down. Doesn't match the other bunk bed really, but it is made of wood too, so I think it will work.
Scott has been hard at work trying to finish up the laminate flooring project we started last fall. Yeah, it's been almost a year and still haven't finished. Last night Dwight and I ripped up the majority of the carpet/padding in the "used-to-be-baby-room." This should be the easiest room by far to install the flooring, but it's the biggest room after the master room. Then we'll just have bathrooms.
Wow, am I mumbling about rooms or what? It's because I'm a zombie. I actually took a nap today after taking Dwight to his Neurology appointment. I managed to keep myself up until a little after noon, long enough to eat lunch. Then I went in my room and cried my emotional eyeballs out...hormones are strong and I'm dealing with some issues right now I'm struggling internally on trying to resolve. What to do, what to do? Have a good cry. Yeah, that helps...a little. Now...I can sleep...for about two hours.
I got up at three and made some preparations for our trip to Myrtle Beach. Kennel arrangments for the dogs, another appointment to get my van fixed now that the parts are in, yada yada yada. Then I sat there for about an hour...
Scott suggested we go out for dinner. Works for me. So we went to a local pizza place and ate, went home, and two hours later I'm trying to figure out how I can possibly convince my 3 and 5 year old into going to bed early. Yeah, not going to happen. 30 more minutes and I'm waking my husband, who's been napping for over an hour now, to let him know it's definitely bed time.
Then I'll go upstairs, try to find a comfortable position to sleep in, get up to go pee about 5 times, but when I do sleep, I'll sleep hard. 6 more weeks...and counting down.
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